“Such places exist among the endless abodes of every major city, places that seem to be sanctuaries from the present, immune to the hustle and bustle, the sound and fury that in the end change nothing.” James Roof, Author

Sanctuary is one of those terms which you don’t seem to hear much these days. Whilst most of us are unlikely to need the kind of physical sanctuary offered by the Church in medieval times, there is still a psychological need today for Sanctuary and that’s as vital as it ever has been. Think about it for a moment - do you have a place you go to when you just need some quiet, some solace, a chance to be still and to quieten your mind from all the demands for your attention?

Libraries, parks, a bench by the river, maybe a coffee shop in your favourite book store, and yes - churches - all of these places can offer a space of sorts for you to disconnect for a while, from those aspects in your life which cause you stress.

Your sense of sanctuary may not be a physical place at all. It may be a favourite book or movie or style of music. It may be an activity, like going to the gym, or gardening or yoga. It may be spending time with a pet. Or singing in a choir. Or cycling. Sanctuary in this way means something other than relaxing or meditating or praying.

It is an experience of feeling psychologically safe enough to be able to completely let one’s guard down - to simply ‘be’.

Even if your experience of sanctuary comes through doing something physically demanding, the experience can be incredibly rejuvenating and in a way which has nothing to do with the endorphins or any other biological processes which occur during, and after, exercise.

It is the internal experience which is the key. Whilst a sense of sanctuary may seem to be about shutting oneself away from the world, that’s not necessarily the case.

Rather it is about creating an experience to allow the needs of one’s interior world to be heard, however it is that you find suits you best.

One of the really exciting parts about emerging from time spent in Sanctuary is that you will also have allowed yourself some time for your Unconscious to work things out - to solve problems, to come up with all sorts of creative possibilities, no matter what it is you are trying to solve, create or achieve.

If you are struggling with a problem of some sort, I recommend you let yourself have some regular time in a Sanctuary of your own creation. It will undoubtedly be time well spent.

If you are interested in finding out more about my coaching or mentoring services, please message me below…

Professor Lightman begins by relating an experience he had a few years ago in a remote village in Cambodia. The women there would ride bicycles each morning to the market ten miles away, When he asked one of the women how long it took her, she replied: “I never thought about that.”

Here is what Professor Lightman wrote about that experience - it provides a glimpse into his book.

“I was startled at her disinterest in time. And envious. We in the ‘developed’ world have created a frenzied lifestyle in which not a minute is to be wasted. The precious twenty-four hours of each day are carved up, dissected, and reduced to ten-minute units of efficiency. We become agitated and angry in the waiting room of a doctor’s office if we’ve been sitting for ten minutes or more. We grow impatient if our laser printers don’t spit out at least five pages per minute. And we must be connected to the grid at all times. We take our smart phones and laptops with us on vacation. We go through our email at restaurants. Or our online bank accounts while walking in the park…”

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Creative people are visionaries. That might sound like an old-fashioned expression but it is absolutely true. You have an idea for a story and the over-arching shape and lot-lines form in your mind before you’ve even opened your computer or put pen to paper. You’re an entrepreneur and a new product idea appears in your mind, fully formed, while you’re in the shower. You are training to be a chef and even though you are still learning your techniques and skills in the heat of the kitchen, somewhere in your mind’s eye you can picture the restaurant you’re going to own one day.

Unfortunately the visionary’s extraordinary imagination can be a double-edged sword. Along with what can sometimes be an incredibly detailed idea, many creative people envisage their creation in its purest, absolutely perfect form. At least some of the time, what they experience is real inspiration - a flash, within which lies the perfect essence of their creation. They see very clearly the ideal to which they aspire.

And therein lies the problem…

Often the creative process, by its very nature, involves numerous steps, often incremental and sometimes even backwards. What you are working to bring into being might never actually reach the ideal you’ve envisaged, at least, not for some time. How on earth do you persevere? How do you keep on working, all the while battling the feeling that what you are creating simply isn’t good enough?

Some thoughts of what to do:

• First and foremost one needs to understand that one’s vision might be an ‘ideal’. It is something to aspire to, to work towards, to hold up as a thing of beauty. It might not be attainable in its perfect form. At the least it might take quite a long time before your creation reaches a level of attainment with which you are happy.

• Be willing to share your creations, preferably with people who you know will be kind in their criticism. Seek feedback even if it is uncomfortable at times. There will also undoubtedly be encouragement.

• Be willing too to let go of initial drafts and ‘working models’ if they simply don’t hold together. What you learn and gain from the creative process you’re going through will feed into subsequent editions of your work.

Most of all, do what you can to build your emotional resilience. If you have been blessed with the experience of having a ‘creative vision’ bringing that vision to fruition is likely to take quite some time. You are unlikely to be able to maintain objective distance all the time. You may receive challenging feedback. This is going to be painful when what you have built has something of your heart within it. If you are will though to experience the dissonance of the mis-match between what you’ve envisaged and what you build during the creative process, then slowly but surely you will also build your craft. And with that skill you will eventually find yourself approaching the ideal you have pictured oh so clearly.

Jessica sat bolt upright in bed, sweat trickling, heart pounding. The blanket of darkness and silence disoriented her. She must have cried out in her sleep again - Milo was looking up from his bed in the corner, alert, ready to spring towards any threat. She turned on a light, reassured him, pulled on her robe and went to make tea. She stood with her eyes closed, barefoot, the cool of the kitchen tiles refreshing. It took a few long, drawn out minutes for her mind to clear and for her pulse to slow. The morning rituals helped. The simple regular movements instilled a sense of calm. She went to sit in her favourite chair, as she did most mornings, looking out at the sea. Her life had always revolved around the sea: hobbies, study, work, refuge.

It had been the same dream, the one she had had at least three times before.

This dream was so terrifying that Jess had begun to have difficulty getting to sleep. As if the stress of the last year wasn’t enough, now she had begun to feel decidedly sleep deprived.

It always began the same way. It was a beautiful, warm summer’s day and she was walking along the jetty at the island marina where her parents had kept their little boat. Something would catch her eye, a glint of sunlight on water. She would lean over to look into the clear depths of the bay and then the shark would leap out, perfectly vertical, just as dolphins do, expect for its rows and rows of teeth.

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